Past Year & Where Am I Now?

 

Today I am in Oklahoma. One year ago today, I was in Minnesota. This is the photo of my brother's room that morning. Mom got to see the group home we struggled to get him into...just not as we planned. It was supposed to be at Christmas and a celebration. But he passed away unexpectedly.

Originally, I intended to be back in October anyway so Paul and I could get ready for Christmas. I had some extra AirBnB furnishings: a small 2-person table, its two chairs, and two more folding chairs. 

Instead, Mom and Byrne (thankfully) made the drive for a quick trip that we could all make together (and meet an uncle and cousin there) to clean out Paul's room.  

We all traveled again in April for a burial on Paul's birthday because that's when he always wanted visitors.

So in the past year, those are the only trips I've taken save for a very short trip to Oklahoma City for a writers conference a month ago.

That wasn't the plan. Originally, I was going to go back at the end of May and join my Skarstad family for Memorial Day. There's still plenty of work to be done up there. Next target was June where I intended to be there over Dad's birthday and write in his workshop--the place where I still feel him most. Plus, I could attend the AFCM Family Reunion (just two hours from Dad's house on the lake). 

Deadlines.

Exhaustion.

Pressure.

Even though I left important things up north, I started taking care of what I could from afar. There was more than I realized. 

More pressure.

More exhaustion.

More deadlines too.

Maybe July? I wanted to kayak on my birthday again. Too tired. Maybe at least go to Branson? Celebrate? Even if I end up coming back? I was too tired to leave town. I would have been too tired to leave my bed except that Mom and Byrne came to Tulsa instead.

Okay...August! I could go up quick and come back for the writer's conference. Other developments needed attention before I could spend time on the road. My target date kept moving.

And then, halfway through August--that's when I "slept wrong" and my right side has been tingling ever since. Foot to knee, hand to elbow. It's constantly the painful numbness. I assumed it was a pinched nerve, that I slept wrong. I'll sleep right again. More assumptions.

I decided to go to the conference in OKC and be ready to leave immediately afterwards toscoot north for my son's birthday on the 5th. I quickly cleared up a few things and saw a new client special for a chiropractor. Driving that short distance was more uncomfortable than I realized with my arm and leg feeling the way they did, so maybe a quick adjustment could help?

Nope. No adjustment. The chiropractor wanted me to see a doctor (preferably ER immediately) before treating me. He thought I had experienced a mild stroke.

That's what started a new adventure. Maybe an emergency room trip would help me reinstate insurance? That started a year earlier--my first without some sort of W-2 or 1099 to prove income. They wouldn't accept my own records. And I had filed for an extension, so I didn't have my tax return done at all--and half my records were left in MN because I planned to do them there. What a mess! It took quite some time to find out how that might work. And as it turned out, since my household size decreased, if I filed a similar tax return this year--I wouldn't qualify. 

I learned that I don't know much. 

So I braved the marketplace, got a new plan, and was thankful to find one my income qualified me for--except that I didn't realize I'd have to change my doctor! That sudden shock brings me to yesterday. 

FUTURE TRAVEL?

• A suggestion from my doctor who knows me well (and said that my way of helping others and feeling selfish if I help myself has me at great risk): Get my blood pressure down to a normal range for at least two weeks before setting out.
• Minnesota? Yes, of course, I'd like to get there soon. Time is ticking, however! The things I can't do from here involve more furniture back and forth. I had been counting on a couple of trips this summer to bring AirBnB things to my Oklahoma home that needs them.
• Guatemala? I am still tempted to live there. I thrive there for sure.
• There's too much and too little to do. I'm praying about properties.
• So ... no, I haven't been on exotic adventures. I lived with two local friends for the end of last year and moved back into my home mid-January after it was emptied and the floors, walls, ceilings, and vents were done ... and SLEPT. It felt like for months. I'm still tired.